Halloween weekend update(finally) part 1

OK so I have been a huge procrastinator in regards to updating this thing for no real reason other than I have been lazy.  So here is a recap of my Halloween weekend.  Really I think the subtext of this whole entry should be never drink and take Klonopin (yes I have a prescription for them right now)

Friday
-So on Friday I worked at Scarehouse it was a pretty busy night but nothing that was too crazy.  The amount of drunk people that come to a haunted house really never ceases to amaze me.  While at work I get a text from Nino(see also Miss ill's boyfriend) that awesome things will be happening there.  I wasn't quite sure if I would go because I stupidly took 2 klonopin after some beer and I was feeling kind of weird, however as per the recent past 4.5 was there to keep an eye on me and get me some coffee and make sure everything is alright with me(this is frustrating sometimes because hes so nice) to drive/take myself where ever I was going.  I bide my time until we are all done for the night with work,  and head over to their house. 

I guess it is worth mentioning that since it was Halloween weekend I did my face kind of zombie-esque complete with blood all over my face coming from my eyes and nose, and when I got to Amy and Nino's house I just stood outside their house looking in their window in direct eye line of Neen....his reaction was hilarious, have I mentioned I love being a creeper sometimes?    Hang out with the usual suspects there(Neen, ill, BA, Matt and Chris), doing random stupid shit that usually happens, generally its a lot of laughing and coming up with stupid ridiculous nonsense.  For example that night we were talking about going to this party as the A team where one of the people would be the van and we all had to get into their clothing(yeah I guess it is definitely one of those whole...you had to be there moments?) there was also a lot of king of the hill watched.  So around 3 everyone decides to call it a night. 

I leave their house but I was still kind of restless and bored, and I remembered that another one of my friends was having a party that night(and that it should be going pretty late) so I venture over to that area of town only with what I thought was the address(I tried calling my friend but she didn't answer her phone...I come to find out later that she was asleep already).  I get to the street that I THINK the party is on, and see a house that is still pretty full, . that has to be it right?.....WRONG.  So in typical Crusher fashion I stomp right into the party to the bar area and pick up a bottle of rum(which for the record I don't even really like, but it was that or Jager...and Jager and I are sworn enemies) and take a huge drink out of it, as I put the bottle down I finally look around and it sets in....this is NOT the party I am supposed to be at and in fact I don't know a soul in the joint.   Right after my complimentary drink I am asked to leave...OOPS....well that was somewhat awkward.  After I make my way back to my car I start to feel really weird(my eyes felt very bizarre) So what did I do? Instead of driving home like that I take a power nap in front of my friend Busty's(see also the glue that holds the league together at most times) house.  *Note to self...tell Buster I took a power nap in front of her house...I think its kind of hilarious.  Finally make it home where I also take a nap in the Garage...like I said the moral of this story is NEVER drink while taking Klonopin if you want to be worth 2 shits.  Drag myself into our house where I sit down and fall asleep completely clothed(including engineer boots, track jacket and zombie make up) sitting up....where I stay until 10 the next morning. 



Ok so I just thought about it and I am going to break this entry into 2 different pieces...mainly because I am being lazy as fuck right now and want to go to bed. 

Epic hot mess

last night was the stuff of "crusher legend" I  dont really feel like rehashing it all right now but let me tell you, when I actually have the energy to type it all out...the screen may just explode.  so for now let me leave you with a picture of my costume....p.s. i was a black unicorn

Cast of Characters (or the usual suspects)

So I guess I should get at least a silver star for blogging 2 days in a row. 

1. and I am sure I might get stoned to death for this but I really don't understand the appeal of Glee...really don't have anything to add about this other than meh...

Now that I have that off my chest I'm going to introduce you to a small but consistent group of people in my life....makes it easier for future entries when I talk about someone you'll know who they are

1.Gina, this is my sister and business partner.  Get a mental image of myself in your head and then go to the exact opposite and you have a pretty good indication of her.  She lives vicariously through my shenanigans and enjoys things like horseback riding and reading at home.  She is very "type a" and is kind of conservative, I drive her crazy when it comes to the minutia of the business because my brain just doesn't work like that. 

2.  Darcie....aka troll.  This is and always will be my best friend.  We met the summer before Kindergarten and she has been bossing me around pretty much every since.  She has the tendency to point her finger a lot and give "lectures" about why I(or another one of my friends) may need supervision of some sort. 

3.Chip-I have known Chip for a very long time(and have probably been getting him in trouble for just as long).  He is probably my best male friend and I can generally bully him into anything.

4. Carla- some people are just amazingly solid and sweet people...she is one of them.

5. Woo-oh man Gabe will be so mad that woo got introduced first but he shall get over it.  Woo a transplant from San Diego, she is adorable and hilarious and somehow helps me be reasonable without losing my sense of nonsense.  I have decided that when She and Gabe get married he has to change his last name to Woo.  She has been essentially my rock through this whole break up mess and I love her for that...I hope one day to be able to repay that favor, oh yeah and her real name is Lyssa. 

6. Gabe-Met  Gabe through a mutual friend(who neither of us talk to anymore) he has also been instrumental in helping me through this breakup, though Ive helped him through some pretty messy times so its a two way street for us.  We dated seriously for a nanosecond once...it was bizarre.

7. Jen...aka Tall Guy aka Attaxl aka Asstaxl aka the other half of the "messy Jens"  This is my roommate...we have an odd( at times) relationship where I turn into the momma bear... most of the times things are awesome and fun and crazy with her.

8. Brendan aka 4.5 aka the ex.  like I said he is going through this period of "self discovery" right now...I did the same thing like 5 years ago so I understand(to an extent) but i don't necessarily have to agree with it.  He's loud and funny, and a genuinely great person, he accepted me for who I was and never tried to change me,  which are all reasons I think i fell for him in the first place.  We are working on the friends thing...so far its working alright   If things are supposed to work...they will but above all this has been an exercise in me learning I cant control everything.

9. Stef- She is hilarious and generous and her wedding seriously will be ridiculous and out of hand.   There have been many a night of complete mayhem with her being some part of it.

I Seriously have so many amazing derby friends that if I wrote about all of them I would seriously be here all night....as stories come up I will give background info then...I think I am done for now...

The first(of many?)

So for many writing about things is cathartic(oo look its a 25cent word...guess I should put my master's degree to use in some way), I am hoping that this blog will serve as this...as well as a chronicling of all of my shenanigans both past and present.  So Why a blog, why now? There are a few reasons for this....1. I have a ton of time on my hands...I currently have a broken Scapula as well as a torn coacoracromial(sp?) ligament in my shoulder so I sit at home a lot... ....I have lots of stories...I have told many of them and what I get from many people is....oh man you should have a blog...so...here it is.  I guess the usual way to start this kind of thing off is to talk about myself...let you get at least a mental image of the person writing this crap.  So here are the basics...


My name is Jen...most people call be Bonecrusher(or Crusher, Crush, Crushante, Rush, Rusher, bionic or hey you with the glitter on your face). 

     I play roller derby for the Steel Hurtin, we are the all star team for the Steel City Derby Demons.  Derby is and always will be my first love and passion....you know how you start something and feel like you were just made for it....that's how derby is for me. I started skating when our league started in 2006 and my current injury is from derby(sadly practice and not something cool) and so most folks reactions have been oh...so youre done...yeah right! Someone will have to drag my wrinkled old ass off the track a LONG time from now.  Its my release and stops me from getting stabby on the general populace.  I consider many of my teammates more like family than anything(and actually live with one of them), therefore if you cross my family...you cross me...just don't do it.  
     People look at me like a bit of an anomaly. I am a chubby kid...I always have been a chubby kid...most likely I always will be a chubby kid HOWEVER dont let my size fool you...I WILL chase you down and hit you....really hard..

I have a pug that I found chained to a dumpster3 years ago(In November) His name is Dwayne Megatron Attorney at Law and he is way better than your pet...and there's a good possibility I like him better than you. 






 This is him. and the black goblin looking dog is Dillinger, he is my roommate's pug.  As you can clearly tell by his face he really does like dressing up and wearing clothing...no I am not some weird dog lady...ok well i might be but...whatever. 

I am 28 years old and have seen and experienced a lot in that short time.  Some of it has been amazing, some of it has been pretty terrible but all have been learning experiences that have shaped me into the person I am today. I have a M.S. in Psychology and wrestle daily with the thought of earning a PhD of some sort.  I have an incredibly quirky sense of humor and make jokes at some of the most inappropriate times. Some may call me an orthopedic nightmare and I may agree but all I have experienced has only made me stronger.  I have scoliosis, as well as a metal hip...sometimes I set off metal detectors at airports, sometimes I dont...it makes no sense...but if you look at an x-ray of my body its actually pretty cool.  I have never used my physical issues as an excuse for anything *see also me still carrying incredibly heavy things one handed at my second job).  I have had a shattered femur, broken ribs, a broken ankle(that I walked on for 3 weeks before realizing something was wrong), a broken hand, fractured spine and broken scapula( both derby related), broken nose and more stitches than you could count.  I have an almost super human pain tolerance most likely related to all of these injuries. 

I am still in the process of getting over a pretty gnarly break up. I was blindsided out of nowhere with the news that I was single, after feeling like/knowing that I had found "the one" and it crushed me.(also I promise this blog wont be an angsty whiny girl hating her life and bad mouthing her ex kind of deal but I just feel like this is now part of my back story)  The good days definitely outnumber the bad at this point but for a few weeks I was a mess...I couldn't sleep, didn't eat for 21 days, puked up blood, couldn't sleep, fell off the face of the planet and was drinking...a lot...I realize that a break up isn't the end of the world but at the time it felt like it was.  We are trying to stay on good terms while he "finds himself", but I am not putting my life on hold for anyone...I deserve better than that.  If our paths cross again one day then so be it but whatever...During this time my eyes were really opened to who my true friends are and it made me appreciate them all the more. 

So when not playing roller derby I have other things that keep me pretty busy.  I like to read books(true crime, things about nazi germany, and books by authors like chuck klosterman/chuck palahnuik), I collect comic books, this is a hobby I have had since I was 13 and have several long boxes of comics from the past 15 years of my life.  Is it nerdy...incredibly...do I care...not even remotely.  I have a tattoo on my arm of a full panel from a wolverine comic(its number 181 if youre counting and its one of Adam Kubert's most famous full panels he has done) its wolverine and the juggernaut facing off...I LOVE it...which is good because its fucking huge. 

     I am in the process of starting a business with my sister(see diametrically opposite of me) called Steel City Cupcakes....baking has been a huge part of my life for as long as I can remember and word on the street is that we are pretty good at it also.  If we don't kill each other first we will have a pretty good chance at being successful.  I love cupcakes, you love cupcakes...who doesn't love cupcakes?

     Speaking of family...I have the most amazing family anyone could ever ask for....my parents are incredibly supportive and would do anything in their power for their kids...even if we don't always get along.  My sister's favorite past time(aside from riding her horse) is tattling on me to my mom about my facebook posts/pictures...i keep threatening to defriend her but she would be crushed....I clearly got all the fun genes in the family. 

Well I think this is enough of the background info for now...